[written 2/25/08]
So so dirty, but we need it. Hell, at least I do. And I forget just how good it really feels to have some money in the bank because I'm such a broke-ass usually. I would like to thank the U.S. Treasury for giving me my amazing tax refund today, and making my week worth looking forward to. Thanks USA!
Hehehe. Anyway. Life still sucks when you have money... but somehow it sucks a little less when your stomach is full of delicious food and your bills are paid up.
I'll tell you now, I hate people, all of them, and it's hard for me to look at someone at not tear them down in my mind. Then I talk to them, and I feel guilty about judging them as harshly as I did a minute before.
Sometimes, of course, I don't feel any remorse, because my mental allegations are right on-point. in fact, this is more often than not, which feeds my chronic hatred even more.
There are so many variations of behaviors that get my blood fucking boiling. I think I should wear my headphones when I'm not planning to be in direct contact with anyone. The one thing I can't control is the way that the people close to me behave. I have to learn to never expect anything from anyone, so my panties don't get all tied up when I am disappointed by someone else... and ultimately avoid disappointment altogether because I just won't care anymore.
In 11th grade, I had an amazing history teacher, and he always had a key phrase written in the corner of his blackboard. It was perennial advice and was never erased throughout the school year. 3 words: TRUST NO ONE. I should have listened then. It would have saved me time and anguish.
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